Pentecost 6
4th
Commandment
HONOR - IT’S MORE THAN LOVE
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. - Exodus 20:12
Luther’s Catechism: We should fear and love God that we do not dishonor or anger our parents and others in authority, but honor, serve and obey them, and give them love and respect.
Dear friends in Christ,
The world is passing through troublesome times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no respect for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraints. They talk as if they know everything and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness to them. And the girls nowadays - they are forward, immodest, and unwomanly in speech, behavior and dress.
Take a guess who wrote those words and when. The author was a man named Peter the Hermit. He lived in the later half of the 1200's. Parents, you would guess they were written yesterday, right? Or, if we of the older generation are honest, we would have to say they are a good reflection of our attitudes when we were young. The generation gap is as old as the hills. It makes you wonder if even Adam and Eve’s kids thought their parents were old fogies.
The devil is smart enough to know that, after assaults on the Church, his next best target is the home. And the bumper stickers you see - Honor your father and mother - they haven’t made out their will yet; or Be nice to your kids - they’ll be choosing the nursing home - may try to be humorous, but in reality reflect a less than honorable attitude that too many parents have for their children and children have for their parents. I am aware of a few cases where there is a parental/child feud over the parent’s estate, and where children and parents don’t talk to each other anymore.
When God gave us his commandments, it was as if he was building a fence around those things that are most sacred to him. In the first table of the Law (love the Lord your God), he protects his glory, his name, and Word. The second table of the Law - our relationship with our neighbor - protects the gift of life, sexual purity, property, a person’s name, and our inmost thoughts. Sandwiched in between is the 4th Commandment, the bridge between the two tables of the Law. Someone rightly said that, because God is invisible, he chose to put visible representatives on earth. How we honor what is visible will indicate how we honor what is invisible.
That’s why God commands us to honor father and mother, not simply love them, or respect them. Martin Luther helps us understand this important truth: It is a far higher thing to honor someone than to love someone, because honor includes not only love, but also modesty, humility, and submission to a majesty hidden in them.
The 4th Commandment, then, is about honor. HONOR - IT’S MORE THAN LOVE. What does this mean?
Honor belongs first and foremost to parents. An article in the Racine Journal Times this week indicated that only 41% of a polling group thought that children are necessary for a successful marriage – a drop of 25 points since 2000. But what people think doesn’t change the fact that God chooses to give children as a gift. Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. When God gives his good gift to parents, he says, “You represent me now.” Luther turns that truth around: We must, therefore, impress this truth upon the young that they should think of their parents as standing in God’s place.
Parents are given a godly duty - to provide for the physical, emotional and spiritual welfare of their children. We are not like creatures of the animal kingdom that desert their weak babies, or eat their offspring. We are not like animals that have no soul and have no Savior from sin. God gives us children with a body and soul, both of which need care and nurture. We honor our parents as God’s representatives because it is through them that God gives us all we need for body and life. You can rightly say that God fulfills his promises to children through the parents.
Parents are also given the responsibility to discipline their children. That’s because, if parents are going accurately represent God, then they need to show how God is a God of justice coupled with love and compassion. Paul Harvey wrote a haunting commentary after the Columbine tragedy to counter the argument that guns were the problem of society. One of his statements was “It must have been the guns. It couldn’t be that we treat our children like pets and our pets like children.” Truer words could not be spoken. When we treat children like furniture and neglect discipline - be it time outs or even spankings - only trouble lies ahead for them.
Luther once said that honoring parents is how we as children perform our good works of faith. We don’t think of cleaning the bedroom as a good work, but it certainly can be.
But what about homes filled with strife and abuse? Let’s address the question this way: Where does it say, Honor your father and your mother, unless they are rotten parents? Honor - it’s more than love. It’s recognition that God has placed them over us, that he wants us to honor them. That’s reason enough to honor them. I’m not saying it’s easy. But God has commanded us to follow him with a cross on our back, not a bunch of balloons.
Secondly, Honor belongs to “others in authority.”
God has placed many representatives in this world.
With every representative, God desires to give his blessings to us. What parents personally cannot provide in the home comes to us from his other representatives. Teachers teach, the government provides safety and security and parks and fine arts and roads and police and firefighters. Pastors feed you the bread of life, bosses provide a place to ply your craft and make a living. And - just like the home - if you have a rotten teacher, a boorish boss, an oppressive government, the Lord still expects you to honor them as his representative for you.
But when was the last time you heard someone say, “Wow, I made it into a higher tax bracket. Government is such a blessing!” When was the last time you heard a teenager say, “I missed curfew last night, so my mom and dad grounded me for a week, and told me I have to tell them what I’m doing every minute of every day. My parents are such a blessing!” Or what about this: “My pastor preached the Law so well that I felt this big. He is such a blessing!” Or: “My dad spanked me for using a bad word. He really loves me!”
I think we have to admit that, rather than calling our representatives a blessing, we use the word “burden.” How many conversations don’t include sinful gossip about the boss, sinful cutting down teachers, or sinfully ragging on the government. God demands perfect honor from us. But the mirror of the Law shows an ugly reflection, doesn’t it. Disobedience is a sign of blatant unbelief, and unbelief has damnable consequences. And when I peer into the mirror of the 4th commandment, I cannot begin to count the times when complaining, hatred, discontent, and bad words have replaced honor.
And all I can do is say with the tax collector, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” And friends, mercy we have in abundance
through Jesus! That mercy was secured
for us by his perfect keeping of this commandment in our place.
He was the perfect Son to his parents (age 12 - we are told, “Jesus went
down to
You and I know the wonderful news that the holy blood of Jesus washes away all our
sins against this commandment. We stand
before the throne of God as perfect and innocent people because the Father can rightly
say that we are pure and innocent because of Jesus.
When I am plagued by guilt over my disobedience and lack of honor, I have
every right to find comfort in Christ, my Savior, who has forgiven me, and has also
renewed me and restored me to walk in his footsteps.
You see, honor is an attitude of the heart that connects itself to our words and actions. And when Jesus made us his dear children, he empowered us to want to live this commandment out of love for him. You see, in Jesus our desire to honor parents and others in authority is truly a good work, a work not done to gain salvation, but to thank God for my salvation. With the Psalmist we say, “Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight” (119:35). With joy we carry out what Luther taught us in the explanation to this commandment: honor, serve and obey them, and give them love and respect.
Honor has its reward - God’s promise.
For the children of
Long life doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll live to be 100. It doesn’t imply that a life of obedience equals a life on easy street. It’s not a promise to bribe you into being good. As a general rule, however, obedient children, respectful sons and daughters, make for a happier home. Law abiding citizens create safer neighborhoods and better communities. Faithful Christians who listen to their spiritual leaders and take the word of God to heart find spiritual peace and courage to live for God in a hostile world. I’ve known a few people who died very young, but enjoyed a “long life” in this sense. Dying young didn’t mean they were bad kids. It meant that God still is the one in charge, and the full life he promises can be packed into a few years.
HONOR - IT’S MORE THAN LOVE. That God attached a promise to this commandment should remind us that he is very serious about his threats and his promises attached to this commandment. It includes love. But it’s more. It’s modesty, humility and submission to a majesty hidden in them - a majesty given by God himself.
My dad told me about a man that lived in his hometown who was a horrible man. He beat his wife and kids, he was a drunkard, and he was just plain mean to everyone. When he died, the custom of the town was carried out at the moment of his death. The bells of the church to which he belonged rang. But they didn’t ring the toll bell for every year that he lived. They rang the peal bells, signifying worship and celebration.
There weren’t many tears when he died. Not even from his family. He did not know honor when he was a child, and he showed no honor when he was an adult. Yet I cannot stress enough that honor is still something that a child would give even an unruly father in that situation. It would come in a forgiving heart toward the parent, a forgiving heart that only the Lord - who forgave us - can instill in such a circumstance. The lesson of forgiveness is the greatest act of honor to our parents. Forgiveness is what changes hearts, even the hearts of cold parents.
How do you want your children to treat you when you are old? You cannot talk about honor due a parent without reminding parents of their responsibility to their children. A parent who walks in Jesus’ footsteps, who treats their spouse with love and respect, and who displays a forgiving attitude to their children, is one who can look forward to the children and grandchildren sitting around the table enjoying a wonderful meal and meaningful conversation, and a wonderful spiritual bond in Christ. A parent who has acted as God’s representative, can expect that their children will - if need be - pick out a really nice nursing home. Being honored will be the greatest blessing to the one who learned how to honor and who obeyed this commandment themselves.
Honor your father and mother. This commandment doesn’t end when they die. Like all the commandments, it is in force until the day you die. God give us all the grace to look in the mirror and at the cross. Let us look at our representatives and see the face of God. And let’s give them honor.
Pastor Thomas Bauer