The Eighth Commandment – Feel the Spirit of Christian Living at Epiphany on August
12, 2007
Grace,
mercy, and peace are yours through God our Father who promises to show love to a
thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. Amen.
Exodus
Taming the Tongue
A young man working in
the produce department was asked by a lady if she could buy half a head of lettuce.
He replied, "Half a head? Are you serious? God grows these in whole heads and that's
how we sell them!" "You mean," she persisted, "that after all the years I've shopped
here, you won't sell me half-a-head of lettuce?" "Look," he said, "If you like,
I'll ask the manager." She indicated that would be appreciated, so the young man
marched to the front of the store. "You won't believe this, but there's a lame-brained
idiot of a lady back there who wants to know if she can buy half-a-head of lettuce."
He noticed the manager gesturing, and turned around to see the lady standing behind
him, having followed him to the front of the store. The young man continued, "And
this nice lady was wondering if she could buy the other half."
Later in the day the
manager cornered the young man and said, "That was the finest example of thinking
on your feet I've ever seen! Where did you learn that?" The young man replied, "I
grew up in
How many times have you
found yourself in a similar situation as that young man? When you’ve opened your
mouth when you should have kept it shut? When you should have thought before you
spoke? When you should have tamed your tongue rather than letting it run wild?
James compares our tongues
to wild animals. Like animals, they can be deadly if they are wild, yet they can
be a blessing when they are tamed. Today we learn about the taming of the tongue.
Some bosses play favorites.
Some teachers are unfair. Some friends will betray us. Some people will take our
words and actions in the worst possible way, and then spread rumors about us. What
do we do then? Do we sit back and let them get away with it? Do we think it’s cool
to lash out at others with our tongue for the injustices we have felt? Most of us,
with our sinful nature pushing us, will practice brutality with our tongues.
We are often quick with
an angry word for someone in the grocery store with too many items for the express
lane, for someone who cuts us off on the road, for a spouse that we see as inconsiderate.
We enjoy hearing a juicy piece of gossip, and we enjoy even more being able to tell
somebody else. We love to complain and criticize. We bring others to tears and hurt
their reputation – all with our untamed tongue. James said that our tongue “is a
restless evil, full of deadly poison.” Even as Christians, we belittle others, we
put them down, we complain, we gossip. Sometimes we will do this to a person’s face,
but more often we do it behind their back.
When that happens, the
person we’re talking about isn’t the only fatality – he isn’t the only person we
have poisoned with our evil tongue. Listen to what God says in Proverbs. “A lying
tongue lasts only a moment; the wicked have their share of trouble; the Lord detests
lying lips.” There is another fatality when we allow our tongues to run wild, and
that is … us. James says that the tongue “corrupts the whole person, sets the whole
course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” Our tongues can
lead us to the fire of hell. That’s no overstatement. The great damage that our
tongues can do to others is matched only by the damage our tongue can do to ourselves.
When we let our tongues run wild, and use them in loveless ways, we anger God and
become objects of his wrath. All this from a little thing like the tongue.
The tongue, though small,
is very powerful. Just like a horse can be controlled with a bit, and just like
a huge ship can be steered by a relatively tiny rudder, the tongue is a very powerful
part of the body – in some ways the most powerful. An untamed horse can kill you.
An untamed tongue is the same way. Words can hurt. A loose tongue can cut, poison,
and kill.
Taming the tongue with
brutality obviously doesn’t work. Being brutal with our words by hurting others,
harming their reputation, or simply being careless with our words, only makes things
worse. Being brutal starts a raging fire. An untamed tongue corrupts the whole person.
Another way we can try
taming our tongue is by practicing fairness. Four pastors met for a friendly gathering.
During the conversation one pastor said, "Our people come to us and pour out their
hearts, confess certain sins and needs. Let's do the same. Confession is good for
the soul." They all nodded in agreement. The first started, “Well, I’d like to confess
that I get tired of dealing with my people’s problems everyday, so I like to sneak
away from church to go see movies.” There was a gasp from the other three. “I would
like to share with you the fact that I drink to excess,” said the second. Another
gasp was heard, and the third clergyman spoke. “Since you were so honest, I’d like
to say that my big problem is gambling. It’s terrible, I know, but I can’t quit.”
When it came to the fourth one, he wouldn't confess. After a few minutes the others
coaxed him to open up. “The fact is,” he said, “I just don’t know how to tell you
about my problem.” ”It’s all right, brother. Your secret is safe with us,” the three
pastors said. “Well, it’s this way,” the fourth continued. “You see, I’m an incurable
gossip and I can hardly wait to get out of here."
That’s not practicing
fairness, is it? When someone opens up their heart to us, we owe it to them to practice
fairness and keep it confidential. Being fair means that we don’t assume the worst
about people who are different from us. We don’t gossip. We don’t criticize or condemn.
Even if something we
say is true, that doesn’t make it right to say. We should refrain from saying anything
that would hurt another’s reputation. Our Lord Jesus tells us, "If your brother
sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he
listens to you, you have won your brother over.” (Matthew 18:15) If a person has
sinned against you, then you go and show him his fault. If he hasn’t sinned against
you, then it’s none of your business. Besides, if you haven’t spoken to the person
involved, then your information isn’t really reliable is it? It is hearsay! It is
gossip!
We are to speak to the
erring individual, in person, one-on-one. Our goal is always to win our weak brother
or sister over to Christ. If our aim is to win a wounded soul for Christ, then we
will seek out that person to help him or her to improve themselves out of love for
them and their soul. If we go about gossiping about someone in every corner of the
building and rooting around in the filth, telling about the sin (real or perceived)
nobody will be reformed. Then we are the ones who are sinning.
Do you see what it means
to bear false witness against your neighbor? It doesn’t only mean to tell lies about
him or her. The truth can also be a false witness when it comes out a false heart.
The explanation to the
Eighth Commandment contains some ways to rightly use our tongues, to be a blessing:
“Defend him, speak well of him, and take his words and actions in the kindest possible
way.” We can defend people, rather than going along with the gossip. We can speak
well of people, rather than cut them down. Instead of criticizing and harming a
person’s good name, we can work to improve their reputation. We are to take people’s
words and actions in the kindest possible way – to always assume that they don’t
mean what they say in a harmful way, that they aren’t out to get us. For example,
if an older lady leaves church smiling and says to me, “Pastor, you finally preached
a good sermon,” I’m going to assume she was trying to give me a compliment, but
she just got her words mixed up. The tongue can be a blessing when we use it to
support and encourage, to speak the truth, and to speak it in love.
Here is some wise advice
on taming our tongue: Publius, a Greek sage observed, "I have often regretted my
speech, never my silence.” Chuck Swindoll said, “If you don’t say it, they can’t
repeat it.” Will
Here is a simple formula
that you can apply to yourself before you speak about a person or subject: T--Is
it true? H--Is it helpful? I--Is it inspiring? N--Is it necessary? K--Is it kind?
That spells THINK. THINK before you speak. If what you are about to say does not
pass those tests, keep your mouth shut! Be fair.
You know that practicing
brutality is not the God-pleasing reaction. You also know that not everybody else
around you practices fairness. So the third way of taming the tongue is absolutely
essential! It is practicing forgiveness.
When the coach isn’t
fair in handing out playing time; when the neighborhood kids relentlessly pick on
your kids; or when coworkers spread rumors about you, with all your heart, for their
good and for your own good, you will want to practice forgiveness. As believers
in God’s Word, we really have no choice. It is the core of our Christian faith –
a loving God has forgiven us and now we are to turn around and forgive others in
love.
But there is a problem
with all of that. James says in no uncertain terms that no one can tame his tongue.
All of the things that we talked about in practicing fairness, we can’t do on our
own. But Jesus can. He has already tamed our tongue when he defeated our sinful
nature. All of those things that we can’t do, Jesus did for us. Look at how Jesus
defended his disciples. He stuck up for the adulterous woman. Think of the injustices
that Jesus suffered at his trial and conviction, yet he never once complained. In
fact, while he was on the cross he looked down at all those who were crucifying
him and prayed, “Father, forgive them.”
Every hurtful word of
ours is a slap in Jesus’ face. Every word of gossip is a stripe on his back. Every
angry word is a hammer blow against his hands. Yet what does he call us? Does he
call us “dirty, rotten, no-good sinners?” Not at all. He calls us his forgiven friends.
He calls us his blood-bought brothers and sisters.
A jury recently awarded
a $1.6 million judgment for a one paragraph, 65 word, published gossip item. That
comes to $24,615.38 per word. Quite a price to pay for an idle word of gossip, isn’t
it? What if you had to pay a price for every unkind and hurtful word that you have
ever spoken? Thank God that he doesn’t charge us his price for the sins of our untamed
tongue, because God’s price is eternal damnation in hell. That price was paid for
by the blood of Jesus Christ. That means that we have forgiveness. That means that
God doesn’t hold your sins against you. He remembers them no more. Now you are to
deal with your neighbor in the same charitable way.
Only those who know the
forgiveness of Christ can show the forgiveness of Christ. Instead of gossiping,
slandering, or spreading rumors, Christ’s forgiveness sets us free to forgive.
This isn’t some abstract
teaching. This is practical. We need to train ourselves and our children to get
past practicing brutality, even though it is appealing; to get past practicing fairness,
because often others don’t want to play fair; and instead always practice forgiveness.
It’s not natural. It’s a gift Jesus gave us first. He looked at each one of us and
said first, “Sinner, I don’t hold this sin against you.” Now it is your turn. By
the power of Christ’s forgiveness you and I can look at others who have gossiped
about us, who have said hurtful things about us, who have given us a bad name, and
we can say, “Sinner, I don’t hold this sin against you. I forgive you.” Forgiven,
we, too, can forgive.
God knew the power of
the tongue – that although it is one of the smallest parts of the body, it is very
powerful. That’s why he gave us the Eighth Commandment. It helps us to control our
tongue, to tame it, so that we use it not to cut down, but to build up; not to hurt,
but to bless; not to kill, but to heal – blessed by the taming of our tongues. Amen.