17th Sunday after Pentecost at Epiphany on
In the name of our Lord Jesus, who is both example in how to forgive,
but also an unlimited power ource to give us the desire and the strength to want
to forgive, as well. Amen.
Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my
brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus answered, "I tell
you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 "Therefore, the kingdom of
heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he
began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to
him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife
and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 "The servant
fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay
back everything.' 27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt
and let him go. 28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow
servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him.
'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. 29 "His fellow servant fell to his
knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' 30 "But he
refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could
pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were
greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had
happened. 32 "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he
said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your
fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34 In anger his master turned him over to
the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 "This is
how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother
from your heart."
Frustrating Forgiveness
Forgiveness. I'm all for it,
especially when it comes to other people. I think that other people ought to
forgive. Of course, I encourage people to forgive. It's just that, when it comes
to me forgiving somebody else, I'm just not that enthusiastic about the idea.
Forgiveness can be frustrating. I wouldn't make that confession to you if I
thought I was all alone in my feelings. I'm not.
A little boy had a fight with
his older brother. The feud between the two lasted the entire day. Neither would
speak; neither would make amends. When bedtime came, mom went to the younger boy
and said, "Don't you think you should forgive your brother before you go to
sleep? Remember, the Bible says that we shouldn't let the sun go down while
we're still angry." (Eph 4:26) The mother smiled as she saw her boy's brow
furrow as he considered her motherly wisdom. "Mama?" "Yes, honey?" "I was
wondering." "And what were you wondering?" "I was wondering how I can keep the
sun from going down." That's a boy I can understand. His righteous anger is a
treasure that he is not prepared to give up so easily. He is not ready to
pretend that the argument was nothing. He knows – forgiveness can be
frustrating.
Is it possible that you've
found difficulty in forgiving somebody – maybe even somebody who's close to you?
Has there ever been a time when you felt revenge was the only way you could
resolve a problem? Do you get historical when you argue with somebody – do you
dredge up past problems and dig up ancient arguments? Have you ever thought,
"Boy, if they ever have a problem and need my help, they're going to have a
mighty long wait, cause I'm not a-goin'?" Have you waited patiently for someone
who has offended you to get some common sense and come to you with an apology?
They need to come to you, because you ... are ... never ... going ... to ... go
... to them. If you've answered "Yes" to any of those questions, you might join
me in thinking that forgiveness can be frustrating.
Now, you should know that we're
not alone in having, holding, and harboring these feelings. Jesus' disciple
Peter also had these feelings. Jesus had just told his disciples, “If your
brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of
you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” (Mt 18:15) Maybe
Peter had been offended by his brother Andrew or his close disciple friends
James or John, so Peter asked, “Lord, I've been wondering, just how many times
do I have to forgive my brother when he sins against me? As many as seven
times?"
Peter thought he was being
pretty generous with his forgiveness. The religious teachers of Peter’s day said
that you should forgive somebody three times. Those scholars knew forgiveness
can be frustrating. That's why they said three times and then, "bam" you were
free to get revenge; three sins and "bam," you had every right to get even;
three times and "bam," you could write off the person who had done the sinning.
The problem is, nobody ever learns from that kind of lesson. And violence and
revenge and payback always escalate.
Did you catch that Peter didn’t
really ask a question? He wasn’t inquiring about information like a hungry pupil
eager to learn more. He was showing off. He thought he was extremely charitable
to give a few extra mulligans of forgiveness. He thought Jesus would pat him on
the head, give him a cookie and praise him in front of his eleven buddies.
But Jesus just shook his head
and said, “No. Seventy times seven. You don’t get it, do you? Mercy is not
something I dribble out when people deserve it. By its definition, mercy is
unconditional love and forgiveness, all the time. And even seventy times seven,
four hundred ninety, is not a limit. I just picked some more sevens and added
some zeroes to try to push it out into basically unlimited territory.”
Forgiveness can be frustrating.
That's what a mother found out when she heard her seven-year-old son yell. She
ran into his bedroom and found the boy yelling because his two-year-old sister
had a death grip on his hair. Ever so gently the mother pried the little girl's
fingers loose and released the boy. Seeing his fury, the mother tried to calm
him down: "Now, now, you'll just have to forgive her. She didn't know what she
was doing. She doesn't understand that it hurts when somebody pulls your hair."
The boy nodded his understanding. Mom didn't get too far down the hallway before
she heard her daughter scream. Rushing back, she was met by her son who was
leaving the bedroom. "Well, Mom, she understands now that it hurts when your
hair is pulled."
I can understand that boy, too.
The brother wanted to hurt his sister as much as his sister had hurt him.
Forgiveness can be frustrating. Yet Jesus commands His people to overcome this
frustration and forgive. To Jesus, showing mercy to the other fools and jerks in
your world is not optional. Forgiveness isn't something that we offer when it
suits us or when it concerns inconsequential matters. Forgiveness isn't
something we do after the other person has apologized. Forgiveness is something
God's people just do. Jesus said it, "... If you do not forgive men their sins,
your Father will not forgive your sins." Having God not forgive us, that's a
pretty frightening thought. Forgiveness may be frustrating, but it's something
the Savior expects His people to do.
Maybe your children have
abandoned you or you’ve never received your parents’ approval. Maybe somebody at
work that you thought had your back put a knife in your back. Maybe your
ex-spouse has left you in a permanent state of anger and bitterness. Maybe you
are still resentful towards someone who’s not even alive any more.
Jesus says, “Let it go.” Not
because they deserve it. See, we always want to make our forgiveness and mercy
conditional. Like, if you’re nice to me, then I’ll be nice to you. Any idiot can
do that. It takes a Christian to be nice first. Give up your grudges. Bury your
bitterness. Ask God to take away your anger.
This is not an option. If you
choose to hold on to your bitterness, grudges and anger, you are risking your
own mercy and forgiveness. Jesus said, “This is how my heavenly Father will
treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from the heart.”
Let go of it. Use your little
bit of time left on this earth not to plan retaliation, not to stay in a
constant state of anger – but to be brokers of God’s mercy. The world says,
“Don’t get mad, get even.” Jesus say, “Don’t get mad, give forgiveness.”
So what is Christian
forgiveness? It is Christians consciously choosing that they will not let any
evil that has been done to them change them, or color them, or control them.
Forgiveness is the erasing of a debt. Forgiveness is the building of a bridge of
reconciliation. Forgiveness is something Christians do for others, because it is
what Jesus did, albeit on a far grander scale, to them. We don’t forgive because
Christians are special people or because we are extraordinarily kind, noble,
gentle, or caring. We aren't, at least not originally. No, forgiveness finds its
source, its strength, its sustenance in the Savior, who, has forgiven sinners
like us.
Do you want to learn how to
forgive? Then look at the life of Jesus. He was born into a world that did not
want Him. His first baby’s cry was in a stable because no one would offer His
parents lodging. His king, in a jealous rage, tried to murder Him. The people
from His hometown tried to throw Him over a cliff. The religious leaders plotted
to take His life. His own disciples deserted Him; one denied Him; another
betrayed Him for the price of a cheap slave. At one of His trials, men were
brought in to lie about Him and others got glee from beating and spitting upon
Him. When He appeared in front of His own country's monarch, all the ruler could
do was ask Him to perform some miraculous tricks. Although His Roman judge knew
Him to be innocent, he turned his back on justice and allowed Jesus to be
crucified.
Jesus' life from beginning to
end was filled with frustration, aggravation, irritation, and rejection. He
never escaped people's abuse, mistreatment, and misunderstanding. Yet Jesus, who
always was about the Father's business of saving us, never sought revenge or
retribution. He never turned in His two-week notice; He never called down fire
and brimstone upon those who rejected Him; He never turned those who refused to
follow Him into pillars of salt. He called for no flood to sweep unbelievers
away; nor did He ask the earth to open and swallow His detractors.
Jesus did none of those things.
On the contrary, when a rich young man said that he had kept the commandments,
Jesus did not strike him down for his boastful heart. No, Scripture says
"[Jesus] loved that man." When the crowd left Him, Jesus did not curse them.
When He entered the city of
If you wish to see forgiveness,
look to the cross of Christ. There you will see forgiveness in its purest form.
Even as the Savior hung upon the cross; even as your sins and my sins weighed
Him down; even as men gambled for His clothing and laughed at His pain; He
called out: "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing." He
cried from the cross, “It is finished!” He paid the price. He cleared His
clients. He finished with forgiveness.
I hope you never become dulled
to the thrill of that forgiveness. I pray that in the peace of that forgiveness,
you loudly praise your Lord. And it’s not like when I play golf and my buddies
give me a mulligan when I have a particularly pathetic swing. They’ll toss me
another ball and say, “Here, tee it up again,” then look away and try to cough
to cover their laughter. They’re really thinking, “That was so lame, we’re not
even going to make you take that lousy shot. Here, hit another one.” You don’t
get just one mulligan from God. He continually, unconditionally, pardons all of
your life.
Now, Jesus says, “I want you to
show that you get it and show your gratitude by being brokers of My mercy. Don’t
hog it. Don’t be like the
If you paid any attention this
week, you heard the liberal media go after Governor Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old
daughter for becoming pregnant out of wedlock. The media wants to condemn
Bristol Palin and the whole family for this adulterous sin. They also want to
condemn conservative Christians for not condemning the Palin family. Is public
media-driven condemnation the correct response when we learn of someone’s sin?
This “news story” sounds eerily similar to the time when the watchdog Pharisees
brought a woman caught in an adulterous sin to Jesus to have Him condemn her.
Jesus didn’t condemn, he confronted the sin privately and forgave the repentant
sinner repeatedly.
It doesn’t matter what your
political persuasion is. What matters is you are a Christian. We confront sin
privately, one-on-one and then we forgive. We
all have junk in our closet, too. We don’t forgive so that others won’t dig into
our junk. We forgive because it is the right thing to do. We forgive because it
is what Christians do. It is difficult. It is time-consuming. It is frustrating.
But we forgive because Christ has forgiven us. We forgive – not once, not twice,
not seven times, not even four hundred ninety times. We offer unequivocal,
unconditional, unlimited forgiveness, because that is what Jesus has offered to
us. Amen.