17th
Sunday after Pentecost at Epiphany on
May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has redeemed and cleansed us with his
blood, fill you with Christ-esteem. Amen.
1 Timothy 1:15-16 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance:
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-- of whom I am the worst. 16
But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners,
Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would
believe on him and receive eternal life.
Is self-esteem healthy or dangerous?
1.Self-esteem
can leave us feeling worthless
2. Christ-esteem
fills us with feelings of worth
Sarah is in her middle thirties. All her life she has had an “inferiority complex.”
It began when she was little. Her parents showed little affection toward her, rarely
hugged or kissed her, and often yelled harsh commands at her. She felt as if she
could never live up to their expectations of her – especially when they compared
her to her older sister. Sometimes she overheard her parents talking with each other
what a pain their younger daughter was. In her mind she was convinced that the family
dog was more valuable than she was.
Things became worse when she entered high school. During her junior year a boy asked
her on a date, but feeling that she wasn’t good enough for him, she turned him down.
She didn’t go to any proms or dances because she feared that she would be the worst
looking person there and she was afraid others might tell her she was the worst
looking person there.
In college Sarah met a wonderful man who loved her with all of her feelings of inadequacy,
but her poor self-image continued to create all sorts of problems for her. She became
very jealous, especially of her husband’s business associates, always fearing that
someone more worthy would steal her husband away. Sometimes she felt that it wasn’t
a matter of if it would happen, but when it would happen.
Sarah is not alone in her feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. It has been estimated
that 90-95% of people struggle with this issue from time to time. Even Bible-believing
Christians like Sarah struggle with this issue of low self-esteem. They aren’t sure
what the Bible teaches on this subject. They wonder if the Bible really teaches
that we are lousy, rotten, good-for-nothing people? Or does the Bible teach that
“I’m okay, you’re okay?”
So what is the right approach on this subject? Is self-esteem dangerous or healthy?
The right answer is found in maintaining a proper balance of all that the Bible
teaches.
1.Self-esteem
can leave us feeling worthless
First we see that self-esteem can leave us feeling worthless. Self-esteem seems
to be a big worry of the day. People desire self-esteem. What causes low self-esteem?
Failure in relationships or in a job can lower self-esteem, causing a person to
feel that he is unlovable or unworthy of having friends. Low self-esteem can also
come from striving for perfection and knowing that we have come up short.
Most of us like to look good in front of others. We like to receive praise from
other people. When we look good and receive praise, we feel good about ourselves.
We feel that we have proven ourselves worthy because others have obviously found
something beautiful, important, or valuable in us.
But what happens when we come up short? What if we aren’t beautiful or athletic
or smart or funny or successful? Then we begin to feel inferior or inadequate. That
is where the problem starts. It starts with pride and the desire to be superior
to others. If we discover that we are not superior, but in fact that we are overweight,
out-of-shape, have pimples or wrinkles, or that we root for a bad football team,
then we begin to feel like losers. We begin to have a low opinion of ourselves.
When we have a low opinion of ourselves, we begin to withdraw from relationships
with others. Or we attempt to over-exaggerate our qualities to make us look and
sound good in front of others. So either we become aloof and withdrawn or we appear
conceited and boastful. Neither approach is healthy. When we feel unattractive or
afraid of being rejected we find it difficult to build friendships.
When we have low self-esteem we withdraw from others, we develop a “poor-little-me”
attitude, we believe that no one understands what we are going through, and we have
the conviction that things will never get better. Sound familiar? I am guessing
that many of us here suffer from low self-esteem.
We want to have feelings of self-worth. But what do we base our feelings of worth
upon? What makes us feel adequate? What gives us our self-esteem?
John Q. Adams held more political offices than anyone in the history of the
Often, we define ourselves based upon what we do. Housewife, businessman, factory
worker, supervisor, etc. Then we often base our self-esteem upon how good we are
at those jobs. We feel more important because we have a faster growing business
or a bigger paycheck or better-behaved children than other people we know. Is that
what we should base our esteem upon?
Is it proper for me to think that my parents are more proud of me than my two sisters
because I became a pastor? Or is my sister Dawn better because she coaches basketball
at a high profile Big Ten school. I have my name printed in bulletins, newsletters,
and newspapers. She has her name heard and read in basketball programs, newspapers,
and radio broadcasts. Or is my other sister Brenda, my parents’ favorite because
she lives a relaxing life on a farm raising alpacas? Do you think my parents really
care what we do? They love us and accept us for who we are. Self-esteem should not
come from what we do or accomplish in life.
Often, we also define our self-worth by comparing ourselves to others. Did you ever
notice what happened when Michael Jordan became famous? Everyone around started
shaving their heads and hanging their tongues out of their mouths when they shot
the basketball. Or guys wearing their pants in the middle of their rear ends because
of rappers or other pop stars. Does a bald head or saggy pants make you famous or
popular? It shouldn’t.
Rather than comparing ourselves to others or finding glory in our jobs, what does
the Bible have to say about ourselves? God proclaims in Scripture: “All have sinned
and fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) “There is not a righteous man
on earth who does what is right and never sins.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20) Based on these
two passages, our low-self appraisal is correct. We are pretty bad. We are sinners.
We aren’t worth much. But, then again, we aren’t any worse than anyone else, either.
We are all equally sinful and unrighteous.
Paul tells us in our sermon text, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.” (1 Timothy 1:15-16) Here is what I derive from this passage. Yes, you are a sinner. Your low self-esteem is justified. But even though you may be tied with Paul for the title of Worst Sinner Of All Time, there is hope for you. If the Worst Sinner Of All Time can become an apostle, then what can become of you?
2. Christ-esteem fills us with feelings of worth
If you base your esteem on what you look like or what you have done or by comparing yourself to others, you will only feel worthless. However, Christ-esteem fills you with feelings of worth.
Let me explain Christ-esteem to you. Christ fills us with esteem based not on what we look like, but on who we are. Who are we? Even if we are feeling unimportant to others, we are important to God. We are made “in the image of God.” (Genesis 1:26,27) Even if it feels that no one wants us around them, we are valuable to God. “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26) As human beings, as creatures created in God’s image, each of us has an inherent value as a person: a unique personality, rational thought, a spiritual nature, an eternal soul.
We have a tendency to feel inferior based on our skin color, race, or I.Q. In Christ, no person is “inferior” in status before God. “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” (Galatians 3:26-27) Even if we feel we don’t belong, as Christians we are “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God.” (1 Peter 2:9)
Christ fills us with esteem based not on what we have done in life, but on what we cost God. We have been “purchased” by God at the cost of His Son’s blood. “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed … but with the precious blood of Christ. (1 Peter 1:18-19)
No one else has your blend of gifts, talents, and natural abilities – making you very important in the whole scheme of things. “God made our bodies with many parts,” wrote Paul, “and he has put each part just where he wants it.” (1 Corinthians 12:18) But this uniqueness goes beyond giftedness; it reaches as well into the depth of each of our experiences in life. No one else has your life. No one else has your pain, your hardship, your joys and sorrows. Everything in life shapes us and we are shaped by everything for a reason – so that we can touch others in a unique way based upon who we are and what we’ve been through. God doesn’t waste anything in our lives.
Are you just getting by, or are you living for a reason? Think about your unique gifts and ask yourself how those gifts are benefiting others. What specific way is God using you to touch others in the Body of Christ? Do you seem to have an extra measure of wisdom, or mercy, or discernment, or knowledge, or administration, or desire to serve? These will help determine how you can look for opportunities to help others.
And then think about the things you have gone through so far in your life – especially the difficult or challenging things where God has met you with his presence and power. That information is not just for you, it’s for you to empathize with and encourage others who have encountered similar struggles.
God isn’t messing around here. There are no accidents with our lives. Whatever we have received and experienced has shaped who we are, and because of that, we are qualified servants. There is truly no one else like you … for a reason.
The correct view of ourselves comes when we no longer think, “I am the greatest, the smartest, the cutest, the strongest, the best.” The correct view comes when we realize, “I am what I am by the grace of God.” “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” (Romans 12:3) As a Christian, see yourself as God sees you. Think “soberly” about yourself, neither over-valuing or under-valuing yourself. Don’t put yourself down. God doesn’t make junk. You are valuable to God. Neither should you boast about yourself and how great you are. If you want to boast, “boast in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:31)
There was an American tourist in Paris
who picked up an amber necklace in a trinket shop and was shocked because of a high
duty he had to pay at customs in
It is also important that we know our worth. You can’t and won’t earn God’s love. No matter how bad or good you feel about yourself, God still loves you. God doesn’t care about your looks, your weight, your athletic ability, your intelligence, or your title at work. God cares for you because you are His. He bought you with his Son’s blood. You are worth enough to God that he was willing to give up his own Son to save your life.
If you base your esteem on yourself, you will feel worthless, inadequate and inferior. However, if you receive your esteem from Christ, you will feel valuable, loved, redeemed. You and I are tied with Paul as the Worst Sinner Of All Time, yet we are also the Most Loved Sinners Of All Time. We are the forgiven, redeemed, esteemed, children of God. Your esteem should come not from what others think of you, but what your God thinks of you. And your God loves you and accepts you for who you are. Amen.